no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
