birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Actions speak louder than pants.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
