question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
