theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
