that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
