They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
