I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
