If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have aggressive nipples.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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