I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
too bad you live with your parents still
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
