Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
