Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
