I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
