found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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