How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
