ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize