it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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