Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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