Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
