Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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