People in love make me want to vomit
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
