i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
