I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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