Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
