Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize