Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
