he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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