this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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