whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
