Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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