I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
