Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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