love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
