Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
