Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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