Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
