I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
