I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
