I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
