it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
