Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
