I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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