Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
