I'm going to rape someone's good day.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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