Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
