I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
