i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
