i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
