For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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