how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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