and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
