Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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