Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
