belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
