so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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