so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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