he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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