break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
