I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
