How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
