Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
