Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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