I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
