Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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