Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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