The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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