That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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