It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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