i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
