It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize