it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
