the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
