i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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