Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
