Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
